Forever With You (Silver State Series) Read online

  My mouth goes dry as dust when I see the full length of him encased in the black cotton of his boxer shorts, straining against the material. With my finger I trace the line of hair that trails from his navel down into his underwear, and my eyes flicker up to Kyle’s. His neck is still leaned back against the couch cushion, but his head is inclined forward, watching to see what I’ll do next – something even I’m not sure of.

  I slide upward across his lap again, re-centering myself over him, and flatten myself against his chest, savoring the feel of my bare breasts pressed up against his smooth skin, which is covered lightly with hair. His lips collide with mine as he guides my hips subtly back and forth, grinding me against him.

  As soon as I’ve had a chance to come up for air, something in my mind clicks, and a decision is made. I want to go down on Kyle. There – now that my mind is made up, I can get my head back in the game and start working toward my new goal. I turn my face so Kyle’s lips catch my cheek instead of my mouth, then fan my hands out over his chest as he feathers kisses over my jaw line and down my neck. Goosebumps have erupted all across my skin, but I feel hot to the touch, like I have a fever.

  Finally I pull all the way back, climbing off Kyle’s lap. I crouch down on the floor in front of him, in the same spot I was earlier when he massaged my back. I cast him one last look – his eyes are wild with alarm but also longing. I tuck my fingertips inside the elastic waistband of his boxers, but before I can pull them down his fingers clutch at my wrists, halting my movement.

  “Tawny,” he whispers – I can hear the rampant emotions dammed up behind his carefully composed façade. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he says, his voice pleading.

  My shoulders are tensed. I’m pretty sure I already know the answer to my next question, but I ask it anyway. “Do you not want me to?”

  He bends all the way forward so his lips tickle my ear as they move against it. “I want you – all of you,” he rasps. The shiver that rockets up my vertebrae causes me to sit up ramrod straight. “But I can wait…”

  He draws back, his eyes still glued to mine, but he doesn’t recline all the way back this time. One side of my mouth draws up into a smile, and with that I pull his boxers down to his ankles.

  Kyle – 10:30 PM

  Tawny’s eyes enlarge at the sight of my cock as it falls free of my boxers, extended to its full length and width. Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I was this hard. I told her I could wait, but the truth is if she backs down now I’m going to need one very ice-cold shower to prevent it from growing painful.

  For a moment she just looks at it, as if she isn’t precisely sure where to begin, but then she wraps her slender fingers around the base and begins to stroke. She moves slowly at first, and I resist the urge to cover her hand with mine and push her to move faster. After a minute it’s no longer necessary – she grows more sure of herself and quickens her pace, rubbing up the entire length with just the right amount of pressure.

  Then she stops. She doesn’t look up at me, only continues to stare at my dick – then she scoots a few inches closer and rises up on her knees to slide her mouth over me. Jesus-fucking-Christ. Oh God. All I can do is watch, the blood pounding in my ears as she glides her lips and tongue along my shaft, tasting me. Then she begins to suck. I can tell she’s experimenting, listening for what gets a rise out of me. I give her everything she’s asking for – moaning when she hits just the right rhythm, whispering encouragements when she flicks her tongue over the tip while keeping a firm hold on the base. I tangle my fingers in her hair, gripping the back of her head as she moves up and down, swallowing up the length of me again and again. She takes me in deeper, and I cry out as her mouth and the muscles at the back of her throat stretch and squeeze around me.

  I hold off as long as I can – which isn’t long. As I stumble toward the verge of diving off the cliff Tawny is prodding me towards, I give her a shake and say, “I’m about to come.”

  She pulls back and looks up at me, her hands still on me. “What do you want me to do?” she whispers. I look around.

  “Just hand me my shirt,” I tell her. She follows my gaze to the pool of discarded clothing on the floor, but she doesn’t make any move to reach for it. Instead she glances back up at me, her eyes hardened in grim determination, and she takes me back in her mouth, resuming her previous tempo.

  “Tawny, I’m gonna come,” I force out through gritted teeth, but she doesn’t stop. I try my best to stave off the inevitable, but once I reach the edge there’s no going back.

  Tawny – 10:45 PM

  That really wasn’t so bad. I sit back on my heels and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, admittedly feeling pretty proud of myself. Kyle sits up with a disbelieving smirk on his face. He cups his hands around the sides of my neck and uses his thumbs to lift my face. “What the hell?” he says, chuckling. “I told you to hand me my shirt, you crazy girl.”

  I purse my lips in an understated grin and shrug one shoulder. “I wanted to.”

  He shakes his head, still smiling. “You are something else,” he murmurs as I climb to my feet. Even though Kyle is mostly naked (sigh), I suddenly feel very exposed. I cross my forearms and place my hands on opposite shoulders so my arms are draped in front of my bare chest, but Kyle pulls on my elbows to straighten my arms. “Don’t get shy on me now,” he says softly, a teasing lilt to his voice. “We’re not finished here yet.”

  “We’re not?” I say, fighting to keep my tone even so it won’t reveal my panic.

  Instead of answering with words, Kyle simply flicks open the button on my pants. I gasp as he slides my zipper down and jerks the waist of my capris down just enough to gain access to the space between my legs. Oh no no no no no, says one part of my brain. God YES, says the slightly bigger part.

  He uses two fingers to stroke over my blue cotton underwear while I plant my hands on his shoulders to brace myself and let my head fall forward so my chin almost touches my chest. I close my eyes and let the zinging warmth of his touch filter through me. When he stops I lift my head and gaze down into his imploring eyes. He hooks his thumbs in my waistband as he stares back up at me. “I’m gonna take ‘em off, okay?” he whispers.

  I nod almost mechanically, then squeeze my eyes shut as he slides the panties down my legs and helps me balance as I step out of them. He holds onto my hips and murmurs my name. Grudgingly I open my eyes again. “You’re gorgeous,” he says. “You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about, okay? Understand?”

  I nod, relaxing my shoulders to some degree as I process his generous words. He keeps his eyes glued to mine as his right hand moves, touching the lips first, then probing deeper to find my swollen clit. He rubs in a gentle rhythm that makes me feel weak in the knees – in fact, yes, I’m going to keel over if I stay standing like this.

  Seeming to sense my imminent collapse, Kyle slides his hand around my butt and grasps firmly at the back of my thigh, nudging me forward. He stops stroking only long enough to position me on my back on the sofa with one knee bent, then lies alongside me as his fingers resume their motion. When he slips a finger inside me a knot of something amorphous and amazing begins to unravel at the center of my being.

  “You’re so wet,” says Kyle, looking down now, watching as one finger slides in and out of me while the others continue to circle my clit. “Let me know if I’m hurting you, all right?” he asks. I nod, and he goes on to insert two fingers, twisting as he eases them into my opening. The increase in pressure that stems from the added girth feels a touch painful at first; I hold my breath and wait for the discomfort to ease.

  “Christ,” mutters Kyle. My eyelids fly open as I worry I may have done something wrong.

  “What?” I ask.

  “No, nothing, you’re just so tight,” he says. “Does it hurt?”

  I bite my lip and give a miniscule shake of my head, knowing if I admit to the discomfort he’ll stop… I don’t want him to stop.

 
He plunges his fingers all the way in and back out, pumping into me. After a moment the ache subsides, and it begins to feel vaguely pleasurable.

  “Kyle?” I ask after a minute. My voice sounds strange even to my own ears, having taken on a sort of strangled quality.

  “Yeah?” he asks, his fingers grinding to a halt inside me.

  “That feels really good…” I begin, “but could you go back to rubbing the…outside?”

  He grins. “Of course.” He lowers his voice to a husky whisper as he leans his forehead against mine and adds, “Never feel afraid to ask for what you want.”

  He goes back to kneading infinitesimal circles into my clit. It feels even better this time, since his fingers are slick from being inside me. The fire that started as a slow burn the moment his fingers came in contact with my center builds rapidly into a full-blown inferno that threatens to spill from my every pore. I ride the flaming upsurge that licks and churns through my body, racing toward the impending explosion and crying out when it finally comes, rendering me breathless as it crashes over me in multiple waves. My head snaps back and my back arches off the cushion beneath me as paroxysms of rapture tear through me. Kyle tightens his grip on me, grinding harder against me until my release is complete.

  Kyle – 11:45 PM

  My first thought earlier had been to use my tongue on Tawny, but selfishly I’d opted for using my fingers instead just so I could watch her. I must say, witnessing her orgasm was entirely worth it – my dick got hard again the minute she started writhing against my hand and this animalistic moan ripped from the back of her throat.

  And fuck, she was so tight. I’d sort of assumed she was a virgin – that was right up until the last time she came over. The way she took charge of the situation and moved so fluidly against me had me second-guessing my assumption about her relative lack of experience. And then there was the way she went down on me like a pro and swallowed my cum, for Christ’s sake.

  Now, though – now I don’t know what to think. Judging from the way she felt around my fingers, I’d be surprised to find out she’d had anybody inside her before. And naturally my mind can’t help but go directly to the way those same muscles would feel clenched around my cock.

  Once we were finished I covered Tawny with kisses before I would let her get dressed – she giggled and squirmed as I nipped at her with my lips and tongue. Then I drove her back to her dorm and left her with a kiss I hope she won’t soon forget.

  Now I’m lying in bed, wired, staring up at the tapestry draped from my ceiling. Mostly I’m still riding out the delirium from earlier events, but a part of me is slightly unsettled by some of the things that went on tonight – the snuggling, the laughing, the kissing. I’m all about foreplay; it’s the stuff that happens afterward I’m deficient in. I always figured that was just my style – I’ve only ever been in it for the sex, so after the action itself has reached its endpoint I’ve rarely seen much point in allowing the intimacy to continue.

  Now, however, I can’t be so sure. Maybe it’s just that I’ve never been with the right girl.

  Tawny – 11:45 PM

  Beatrix’s bed was empty when I let myself in earlier, but I can’t tell if Harumi’s here or not since I can’t see into her loft from the floor. If she’s here, she’s obviously asleep – which sucks, because I could really use someone to talk to right now, someone to get out all of my feelings with. I consider calling Rhiannon but decide against it, thinking it’s too late and I’ll save it till tomorrow.

  I lie down in bed, but sleep predictably eludes me. I’d wanted to have sex with Kyle tonight, but without really talking about it we seem to have both been on the same page, instead letting things die down and reach their natural conclusion once he was finished fingering me. No one has ever seen me laid bare like that. It was both unnerving and strangely exhilarating.

  Still, all things considered, after tonight I’m fairly positive it’s going to happen with Kyle, and I think I’m ready for it to happen soon. Now I only have one concern remaining: how in the world am I going to keep my stupid feelings from getting mixed up in this? It’s just in my nature – Kyle looks at me with this expression of adoration, the way I’m sure he does every girl he fools around with, and I absolutely melt.

  It comes down to this: it’s clear I’ll take whatever piece of Kyle he’ll let me have. What’s equally clear, however, is the only way I’ll survive this little experiment intact is by divesting myself of all emotion. Somehow I need to convince myself there won’t be, nor can there be, a future between me and Kyle Freeman.

  Part 2

  Chapter 11 – Tubing

  Friday & Saturday, September 2-3

  Tawny – Friday, 3:45 PM

  My intro to language class meets in one of the lecture halls on the second floor of the social science building. On the first day of class we were all appointed to small groups and assigned seats next to our group members. I’m in group 12 with three others – a very talkative girl named Millicent who very ardently insisted we call her Milly, a painfully quiet guy named Peter who spends a lot of time drawing on his forearms with ink pen, and another guy named Aiden who has these really adorable dimples and a self-proclaimed love for melodic metal music. This is Aiden’s third year at UN, but he’s in all freshman level classes because he just switched majors from Agricultural Science, and evidently there’s almost no overlap in credits between the schools of art and science.

  Today in class we were assigned our first group project, so the four of us hung around for a few minutes after class to organize a time and place to meet. I jot down four o’clock next Tuesday at Mathewson in my planner, than recap my pen and follow my classmates out the heavy double doors.

  “Any big plans for Labor Day weekend?” asks Aiden as he falls into step beside me.

  “Going to visit my sister for a couple of nights,” I reply. “I think we’re going down to Pope Beach on Saturday.”

  “Oh sweet, in South Tahoe? That’s where I’m going, too!” he exclaims. “Well, close – Emerald Bay. Me and some buddies of mine are taking a boat out.”

  “Cool,” I reply. “I love boats.”

  “Have you ever been tubing?”

  “No. Seems fun, though.”

  “It is,” he agrees as we exit the building into the blinding sunlight. “Hey, since you’re gonna be nearby maybe I could give you a call on Saturday and see if you wanna join us for a bit. Your sister is welcome to come, too.”

  I smile, sliding my sunglasses on my face. “Sure, that sounds like fun.”

  “Awesome, see ya then hopefully.”

  “Yep. Bye, Aiden.”

  Friday, 4:30 PM

  I glance at the clock on my nightstand and cringe – Blake will be here to pick me up in less than half an hour, and I’m still not finished packing. Rhiannon wanted to come for me herself, but she’s on a field trip with her second graders today and won’t be getting home till later. I don’t mind, though – Blake is a super nice guy, not to mention easy on the eyes.

  I ruminate on my earlier conversation with Aiden as I stuff a couple of swimsuits in my overnight bag. He seems really nice, and he’s certainly good-looking. I’m not sure what all Rhiannon has dreamed up for us to do on Saturday, but it might actually be fun to hang out with him a little.

  In considering my weekend plans my mind jumps unbidden to Kyle. We had lunch in the student union once this past week, but we’ve both been too busy for anything else; the second week of classes is all about shifting gears from reviewing syllabi to actually starting the legwork for the semester. We talked briefly on the phone yesterday, and Kyle invited me to a party tonight (which I obviously can’t attend). He also let me know he’s heading up north for the weekend to do some work for his uncle’s asphalt business and earn some extra money – apparently he has a camera lens he needs to replace. He’s coming back on Monday morning, though, and we have tentative plans to get together then.

  The thirst that would course through me ev
ery time I thought of Kyle for the first part of the week has diminished somewhat, only because I’ve been so preoccupied with other things. The truth is I still want him, and I can’t help imagining what it would be like to go boating with him on Lake Tahoe this weekend instead of Aiden.

  But no, those wandering thoughts need to be shut down pronto. To forestall any further notions of spending time with Kyle, I remind myself he’s going to a party tonight and will probably be getting some action from some very beautiful female who knows a lot more than I do about how to please a man.

  Kyle – Friday, 10:30 PM

  For some reason I’m regretting having told Nick I’d go to this party with him. It’s at a house I’ve been to before, but I have no idea who lives here. I don’t really feel up to getting drunk tonight, so I decide I’ll nurse a beer, hang out for a bit, then peace out before it gets too late. I have an early morning ahead of me tomorrow anyway – my uncle is expecting me by nine-thirty.

  The party is fairly tame since a lot of students have cleared out for the holiday weekend. I end up sitting in a circle in the living room with a half dozen or so other people who are at varying stages of intoxication. I sit on the floor with my legs stretched out in front of me, bracing myself with my hands behind me, and listen to the people around me engage in conversation that runs the gamut from rambling to philosophical.

  A little ways into it I become aware of the girl on the floor directly across from me. She has a pretty smile and light brown hair that’s gathered in a loose knot on the side of her head, and she’s wearing a low-cut top that dips down to reveal a good amount of cleavage. Her grin only widens further when I catch her looking at me.